Oh yes, it has.
You see, it all started in Bangalore, one of the best evenings of my life.
After a sumptuous lunch of momos, amongst other things, I was derping around in one of India's premier dorkvilles - The Indian Institute of Bourgeois Scientists - when the Sandman came to pick me up. (Naturally he reached the girl's hostel first, but we shall not speak of such things).
Anyway he took me to a magical place, a place full of love, kindness and generosity......in short a place full of animals.
You see, there is this most excellent gentleman who gives shelter to rescued/injured animals. There are ponies, there are horses, there are donkeys and a camel. And there is one of the most dignified looking dogs that I have ever seen. He ambled up to sniff me, apparently liked what he smelt and lied down beside me leg, giving me the opportunity to rub and pet him.
Soon after the Sandman ambled off to bug some humans. I was waiting when suddenly I felt a nudge from the back.
I turned and saw.........................
it was one of the donkeys asking me to pet him.
Now, in all my existence, only 1 other person has actively come up and demanded to be petted, and that's the Count Brian Christopher Luigi di Jimborghini aka Jimbo. So you can imagine my pleasure.
All this was further aggrandized later in the evening when I went to Krupa animal shelter and was assailed by more than a dozen dogs hell bent on licking my face.
So happy times!!!
But, this is me, Fat Uncle Cheapo. The only thing guaranteed is that if I am happy, then karma, fate, mother nature and all them secret societies will conspire together to make my life as miserable as possible.
And it didn't disappoint.
As you all know, Karma works in mysterious ways - and this time it decided to work through the Biggest Bourgeois in these parts - the Biggani.
He started proceedings off by breaking my trolley.
But he was just warming up.
He came home and then broke my fridge.
And then he kept his spectacles in the microwave and started accusing me of hiding it.
All this was bearable
But then he did it, he did it yesterday.
He sabotaged my cooking equipment in such a manner that boiling oil fell on me and burned the fuck out of my stomach. The last time something like that happened to people it was the 16th century.
So, as you can see, in order to ruin my life, Karma took recourse to medieval torture devices. And instead of taking me to the doctor, the Bourgeois Biggani laughed.
You see, it all started in Bangalore, one of the best evenings of my life.
After a sumptuous lunch of momos, amongst other things, I was derping around in one of India's premier dorkvilles - The Indian Institute of Bourgeois Scientists - when the Sandman came to pick me up. (Naturally he reached the girl's hostel first, but we shall not speak of such things).
Anyway he took me to a magical place, a place full of love, kindness and generosity......in short a place full of animals.
You see, there is this most excellent gentleman who gives shelter to rescued/injured animals. There are ponies, there are horses, there are donkeys and a camel. And there is one of the most dignified looking dogs that I have ever seen. He ambled up to sniff me, apparently liked what he smelt and lied down beside me leg, giving me the opportunity to rub and pet him.
Soon after the Sandman ambled off to bug some humans. I was waiting when suddenly I felt a nudge from the back.
I turned and saw.........................
it was one of the donkeys asking me to pet him.
Now, in all my existence, only 1 other person has actively come up and demanded to be petted, and that's the Count Brian Christopher Luigi di Jimborghini aka Jimbo. So you can imagine my pleasure.
All this was further aggrandized later in the evening when I went to Krupa animal shelter and was assailed by more than a dozen dogs hell bent on licking my face.
So happy times!!!
But, this is me, Fat Uncle Cheapo. The only thing guaranteed is that if I am happy, then karma, fate, mother nature and all them secret societies will conspire together to make my life as miserable as possible.
And it didn't disappoint.
As you all know, Karma works in mysterious ways - and this time it decided to work through the Biggest Bourgeois in these parts - the Biggani.
He started proceedings off by breaking my trolley.
But he was just warming up.
He came home and then broke my fridge.
And then he kept his spectacles in the microwave and started accusing me of hiding it.
All this was bearable
But then he did it, he did it yesterday.
He sabotaged my cooking equipment in such a manner that boiling oil fell on me and burned the fuck out of my stomach. The last time something like that happened to people it was the 16th century.
So, as you can see, in order to ruin my life, Karma took recourse to medieval torture devices. And instead of taking me to the doctor, the Bourgeois Biggani laughed.
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