Yep, I was assaulted.
It happened on Friday night when I was coming back from office.
I was riding Baldrick, minding my own business dreaming of ice creams, when all of a sudden........
kablamusamundo.
A bike started riding up my left leg.
I turn back to see the teeming hordes of Xerxes attacking me.
Huh, so not content with stealing my toothbrush, that heinous cabal of evil secret societies have now gone to their next activity in their project Nefarious Purpose and have conducted dark magic to bring back Xerxes's hordes (including it seems one of them black clad immortal) from the dead to attack me.
But I am fearless (apart from being terrified, mortified, petrified etc of girls in general and She Who Must Be Obeyed in particular...and Morris dancing....and baboons.....and height....and confined spaces...and suffocation....and mimes....and public lavatories....and a post-apocalyptic world where there is no ice cream etc etc).
So employing my ninja like speed, I grasped my water bottle, and was about to launch myself at the enemy while shouting in a Leonidasesque manner "This is Banjara.....
when
On further investigation, it turned out that they were not actually the teeming hordes of Xerxes but a screaming horde of Old City....there was the papa, there was the burqa clad mama (probably...but u never know), and there were abt half a dozen wee ones of various shapes and sizes...all shouting as if the sky had fallen on their heads....whereas all that had happened is that the man had lost his balance.
He gave me a highly sheepish smile and apologized profusely.
I gave him a highly condescending nod and rode away...............and then started rubbing my leg furiously...it was hurting like buggrit.
No permanent damage done, I can still waddle as well as the best of them.
It happened on Friday night when I was coming back from office.
I was riding Baldrick, minding my own business dreaming of ice creams, when all of a sudden........
kablamusamundo.
A bike started riding up my left leg.
I turn back to see the teeming hordes of Xerxes attacking me.
Huh, so not content with stealing my toothbrush, that heinous cabal of evil secret societies have now gone to their next activity in their project Nefarious Purpose and have conducted dark magic to bring back Xerxes's hordes (including it seems one of them black clad immortal) from the dead to attack me.
But I am fearless (apart from being terrified, mortified, petrified etc of girls in general and She Who Must Be Obeyed in particular...and Morris dancing....and baboons.....and height....and confined spaces...and suffocation....and mimes....and public lavatories....and a post-apocalyptic world where there is no ice cream etc etc).
So employing my ninja like speed, I grasped my water bottle, and was about to launch myself at the enemy while shouting in a Leonidasesque manner "This is Banjara.....
when
On further investigation, it turned out that they were not actually the teeming hordes of Xerxes but a screaming horde of Old City....there was the papa, there was the burqa clad mama (probably...but u never know), and there were abt half a dozen wee ones of various shapes and sizes...all shouting as if the sky had fallen on their heads....whereas all that had happened is that the man had lost his balance.
He gave me a highly sheepish smile and apologized profusely.
I gave him a highly condescending nod and rode away...............and then started rubbing my leg furiously...it was hurting like buggrit.
No permanent damage done, I can still waddle as well as the best of them.
If there were indeed half a dozen wee ones on a bike, it's no surprise the man lost his balance...especially on the slopes of "This is Banjara!!" ;-)
ReplyDeletethere might have been more than 6, there were too many wee ones to count...
ReplyDeletei have no objections at all to him losing whatever he wants to lose, why o why did he have to drive his bike up my leg in the process
and that too when i was in the middle of a very nice day dream regarding choco chip icecream